Dealing with the Reformed Dieter

The ex-dieter is the one who has tried every diet, knows it all, and has made the "conscious decision" to give it all up. She will tell everyone, in great detail, about how much happier and more fulfilled she is, and how much more satisfaction she gets out of life (and food). She will try to convert you. She will make fun of your plans. She will ridicule your efforts. She will tell you horror story after horror story and quote medical specialists to back up her opinion. She will offer to take you to her favorite clothes shop. She will try to get others to side with her in her attempts to stop you from your healthy eating plan. There are now a number of "celebrity" reformed dieters out there shouting their stuff, even making money out of putting their names on clothing lines and chocolate adverts.

First, don't believe a word of it! If these so-called reformed dieters were truly happy with their lot, they wouldn't need to shout from the rooftops and try to convert others. They are really trying to convince themselves. If you tell yourself something enough times, you might start to believe it. But if they could snap their fingers and be dressed in a slinky number without any effort, do you really think they would choose to stay the way they are? Not on your nelly!

Second, don't listen to anybody else's opinion. YOU are the one who has decided to follow your healthy eating plan. You made your decision based on your lifestyle, your past and future, for your own reasons. You have chosen a plan to follow, or developed one yourself which suits you.

Would you tell somebody else what to wear, how to brush their hair, what style of shoes to buy, what toothpaste to use? Would you stick your nose into somebody else's fridge or shopping basket and criticise their choices? Would you look at their shopping list and tell them what was wrong with it? And yet for some extraordinary reason there are people out there who think they have the right to give you their (loud) opinion of how YOU should be living YOUR life.

So what can you do when you come across a reformed dieter? 

Obviously, it depends to an extent on how close they are to you. If they are family, you will have to sit them down and tell them, gently but firmly, to butt out! Thank them for their opinions, but explain that you choose to follow your own instinct. Agree to differ. Explain that is upsets you when they get involved and ask them to let you follow your own destiny. Come to an agreement: promise that you won't nag them to join you on your weight loss journey, if they don't nag you to give up or tempt you to stray from your own path!

If they are friends, you may be able to get away with ignoring the situation completely. If you don't tell them you are following a weight loss plan, perhaps they will keep their opinions to themselves! Nod wisely when they start to spout. If you nod carefully and grunt occasionally you can often give the impression that you agree with the other person without getting closely involved. Whatever you do, don't rise to it and start to argue! You KNOW you are right and that nothing you can say is going to change their mind, in the same way that nothing they can say is going to make you change yours. So what is the point of arguing? Chill! Let it all wash over you! The only thing you will achieve by arguing is to make the other person feel bad about themself, which will make them redouble their efforts against you. You will come away with a bad taste in your mouth, and so will they.

If they are colleagues, you may well find that everyone in your office is dragged in to the subject of your "diet" by the reformed dieter. They are notorious for seeking confirmation for their beliefs from other sources, so that they can feel justified in giving up their fight to lose weight. Once again, you will have to promise yourself not to rise to any teasing and stay clear of any arguments. Agree with your colleague! Praise them for their decisions! Just keep steadily on with your own plan at the same time!